Talk to people instead of about them. Dealing with conflict directly may be uncomfortable and lead to some disappointment, but it cuts down the mindreading and the resentment that can occur when problems are not dealt with directly. Timing, tact, and taking distance will always have their place, but make sure you still keep conflict eyeball to eyeball.

Avoid forming “enemy” relationships. The subtle art of influence is often lost in the heat of organizational battle. When interaction becomes strained or bias exists, the negative interaction coupled with the distance that often results invites selective scanning and projection. We see what we want to see to keep our enemies “the enemy.” If a relationship is limited to polite indifference and significant negative interaction, expect polarization and an “enemy” relationship. In such relationships everyone loses. Take seriously the words of Confucius, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Even your most difficult people usually have some people they work well with. Make one of those people you. Don’t look for the worst; learn to look for the best in even difficult people.